A Thank
you to all that stood by me,
This
is to let all my family, friends and love one know whats
going on in my life. I just want to let everyone know I
decided to go off treatment. The medicine they had me on
started playing with my head. It was making me a depressed,
emotional, psycho. I stopped seeing color, hearing music,
and generally stopped being a positive person. It took my
life away from me. I was not smiling, laughing or enjoying
life, not to mention the physical pain it was putting me
through. The finally straw came when I didn't get out of
bed for 2 days and all I could think about was how I could
get my fat ass in a Xanax bottle and never come out. This
was not me and I knew I had to do something about it. I
don't feel like a failure, I believe I am a horrible warning
of what can happen on treatment.
No more
Interferon, No more Ribavirin, No more Zoloft or Paxil,
and I cut the use of my Xanax down by over half. Can't take
my Xanax away from me completely, but not because of the
Hepatitis, but because I'm a married women with 4 kids and
a husband. Wait a minute does that count for 5 kids. LOL!
I made
it 27 weeks of the 48 weeks my Doctor's wanted me to do,
not too bad. I had blood work done a week before I stopped
and I will get blood work again 4 weeks after I stopped.
To see if the Treatment I did worked. The funny thing about
this disease is right now there really isn't a Cure. We
can only hope we put it on the back burner and hope we can
keep it maintained. So with that in mind, I made another
decision. When my blood work does come in I don't think
I want to know. My Doctors will have the information and
that's all that is important. In my mind and heart I want
to believe it worked. That's enough for me. When my Doctors
feel that my mind can no longer fight this Dragon they will
let me know. At that time I will decided what to do. Please
always remember one thing. If this disease does take my
life, do not cry for me. Do not look at me as a defeated
soul.
Remember
me as a fighter that could only fight the best way she knew
how. Guess its time for the Black Sheep to make her return.
Think the world is ready for it? Ding! Ding! Round 2! Its
taken me a few weeks to withdrawal from all this medicine,
but I'm starting to feel good and as my husband says " She's
back to kicking ass and taken names."
I also
decided to put my Hepatitis ambitions in one direction.
Since I'm getting my strength back and since I am the original
Mouth of the South! Hold tight Washington here I come. I
promise you every government official will know my name
and the word Hepatitis. I will fight for funds to find a
Cure, to get people medical care when they need it and anything
that has to do with Hepatitis individuals rights. My home
phone and email address will always be open for questions,
concern and support for anyone that may need it.
For
those of you that stood by me for the last year(you know
who you are), I stand up and take my hat off to you. Thank
you for hearing my cries and listening, holding me when
I needed it, Giving me support when I needed it, running
for my medicine, taken me to doctors, stopped by to see
if I was alright, and over all just being there. I will
always hold you close to heart.
A Special
Thanks To:
My Doctors
for taking all my calls and not locking me up!
My Friend
and Sister Elaine for all the calls even if they were from
a bath tub!
My Friend
and Sister Cari for being there for me every step of the
way. This shots for you kiddo!
My Friend
and Sister Pam for always standing with me when the world
was against me!
My Son
for having to grow up too fast. But never stopped believing
in me!
And
last but not least my favorite Ass-hole, my husband. Put
you though alot baby!
I will
close for now, Talk to everyone soon. Oh and by the way
I see color again and yes I hear music again like I'm 15
years old hearing Led Zeppelins, Stairway to Heaven for
the millionth time! :) And this time I'm hearing it Sober!
LOL!
All
my Love, Denise (LadyNokomis)
Thunder2@digitalusa.net
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/hepatitiscsurvivors
"Nature Coast
Hepatitis C Coalition"
Our goal is to
inform our community & government with Hepatitis C Awareness,
Advocacy, Education, Support & Friendship!
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